I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
