but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize