HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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