life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
