Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
