Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
