He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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