Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
