sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
