She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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