I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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