My friends, they love my intelligence
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
