Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
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