too bad you live with your parents still
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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