That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
