Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
