i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
