Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
