You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
