I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
