genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
