After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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