i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
