It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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