All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
