Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
