There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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