If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
