Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
