Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
