I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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