her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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