First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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