..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
