My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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