found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i believe in u and ur pee
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize