There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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