Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
