Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wear drunk well.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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