I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
