So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
