shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize