fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
