Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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