The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
