why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
