so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
