ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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