so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
