Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
