Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
