He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
