Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
