We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
