I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize