Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
