the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
