super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
