I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
