if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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