the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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