Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize