You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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